House Arrest
by Penultimate
Summary: MovieVerse. Ladybug is a hooker. Beetlejuice is her best customer. Hardly a day goes by that she doesn't see him. And when everyone's favorite poltergeist is placed under House Arrest, one must wonder how far she can go without crossing the line of duty.
1. Madame Tera Odipel's Roach Motel

**Author's Note:** Just as a warning, this fic is T for almost everything, but **M for language** as you shall see shortly after you begin reading. If you are uncomfortable with excessive cursing, this probably isn't the story for you. Also, this is a Maitlandverse Fic, if ya'll don't mind! Oh, and I wouldn't mind a review or two before I post the next chapter. Enjoy!

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Ladybug lay quietly on her bed, eyes trained on thfe door as it flew open, the grotesque figure in black and white stripes entering in a fit of what could only be described - for lack of a better word - as uncontrollable rage.

"You're upset," she said evenly as he stalked across the room towards her, fists clenched.

"Upset does not _begin_ to scratch the surface," Beetlejuice growled through gritted teeth.

"I understand." Her eyes followed him as he turned to glare at a mirror, his eyes dangerously aflame. "Just try not to-"

Her words were quickly drowned out by the sound of shattering glass, the already cracked mirror splintering into a curtain of microscopic crystals that fell to the floor.

"Try not to break anything..." Ladybug sighed, placing a finger to her temple. "At least you tried."

"Fuck 'em! Fuck every last _one_ of 'em!"

"Control your temper," the girl murmured as she rose to her feet, crossing to the door to close and lock it.

"FUCK my temper! AND FUCK THAT BITCH AT THE OFFICE!"

"Look, I'll fuck whoever you want. It's your time and money, not mine."

Beetlejuice turned on her quickly, as though he realized for the first time where he was and what he was saying. Though every muscle remained tensed, his mouth finally closed. Whether this was due to a calming of his temper or anger so great it immobilized him not even Beetlejuice knew. However Ladybug knew better than to let this silence slip away.

"Now I'll fuck whoever you want… but I'll bet you'd rather I devoted my time to you." She slinked forward, draping her arms over his shoulders, gently teasing at his hair with her fingers. "Am I right?"

He didn't respond, which could still not clearly be classified as either a good or bad thing. So Ladybug took Beetlejuice's arm in hers, leading him to the bed where she sat him down. She climbed up onto the bed behind him and placed her arms over his shoulders once more, her fingertips gently winding through his hair to his temples, tenderly messaging the tensed muscles. And even Beetlejuice, in all of his anger and rage, couldn't deny that the gesture felt good.

"Now, why don't you tell me what happened? Or we could always get straight to business…." She slipped her arms down his chest in an effort to loosen his tie, resulting in a frustrated sigh from him and a nod from her.

"Let me guess: it had something to do with those new kids you went to go see, right?"

"The Maitlands," he seethed, tensing up again. Lady's hands moved to his shoulders, massaging gently.

"And things didn't quite go according to plan?" she coaxed.

"I almost had it," Beetlejuice growled, clenching his fists once more. "I was almost free! Topside! _Forever!_"

"You found someone?"

"Marriage of inconvenience," he murmured more to himself than to her, "but it would have worked. If only she'd been a bit more willing…."

"Some people don't know a good thing when it's right in front of them," she teased, crawling from the bed and walking to the shattered mirror that still lay upon the floor. Her eyes focused on the pieces and for a moment nothing happened. But soon the slivers of glass began to tremble, then slowly began moving their way together as though pulled magnetically. They floated into the air, the jagged edges melding together so that the mirror would once again be whole. Within moments the entire mirror had repaired itself, and Ladybug smiled into it even though death allowed her the satisfaction of not seeing a reflection. However, as Lady turned her attention to floating the mirror back to its proper place, the pane of glass began to tremble once more and within seconds it crashed back to the floor, splintering apart once more. Ladybug exhaled heavily, her satisfied smile vanishing.

"Stop showing off. This is serious," Beetlejuice snapped, floating down beside Lady.

"I'm listening," Lady sighed, turning to face him. "So what did Juno want? Did she ask you to pull out that stick she's got shoved up her ass?"

"No..."

"Well then what?"

"I don't know. They're holding some sort of trial that they want me to attend so that they can decide my fate in the afterlife, Neitherworld, etcetera." He took her hand in his, absentmindedly rubbing her fingers with the tips of his. Lady's eyebrows arched: it was far too intimate a gesture for someone like him... "It's all bullshit anyway."

Lady nodded, knowing very well that Beetlejuice did not feel this was 'all bullshit anyway.' Normally after a failed trip to the other side he would have busted through that door on top of the world, totally prepared to blow her mind into the next millennium. But no, he was distracted, nervous, worried even. And she knew why.

Juno had never been one to hand out harsh punishments to Beetlejuice. Despite his recklessness and disrespect, there had been a time when he had been her apprentice and for that she still had a soft spot for him. Granted it was a very _small_ soft spot, but a soft spot nonetheless. However, in the last few decades that soft spot had seemed to harden. And suddenly she was dishing out threats, like "exile to Saturn." Seeing how Beetlejuice despised Sandworms, this was the last place that he wanted to be. However, the most recent threat had been one of grave seriousness: exorcism. If Beetlejuice had nightmares about anything, it was exorcism. And if an actual trial was being held, that could only mean that Saturn and exorcisms were definitely on the table.

"When's the hearing?" Lady asked as Beetlejuice rose from the floor.

"Tomorrow," he sighed.

"Well, tomorrow is a _very_ long way away. And my powers could use some... work..." She smiled, careful to avoid the word 'exercise.'

"What did you have in mind?" he asked, smiling a bit devilishly at her tone and word choice.

"Well, my hovering could use a little tweaking," she said coyly, as Beetlejuice snakily approached her.

"Well, babes, the last girl who said that never came back down."


	2. Strangers in the Night

**Author's Note: **So there are two different versions of this chapter and I finally settled on this one. Hope the OOC-ness of characters has not yet driven away readers... Anywho, please enjoy! And don't forget to review on your way out!

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Ladybug lay quietly on the bed once more, far more pleased than before. Betelgeuse's head rested upon her stomach, snoring much softer than usual. Her fingers gently stroked his hair, toying with the endless tangles.

It took her a moment to realize that they were not alone.

"What do you want?" Lady asked, recognizing the characteristic cloud of smoke that enveloped the intruder. "Can't you see I'm with a client?"

"That's precisely why I'm here," said the crass voice of the caseworker.

"Well if you're here for a threesome you can forget it. I don't do that kind of shit."

Juno scoffed as she took a step or two towards the bed, eyes falling in disgust on Betelgeuse's snoozing figure. Her eyes rolled to Ladybug as she took a long drag off of her cigarette holder, puffs of smoke issuing from the poorly mended slice around her neck.

"Don't flatter yourself," she spat, tapping the ash from the cigarette onto the floor, "or him for that matter."

"Watch it," Lady murmured, glaring at the ash. "I do live here, y'know."

"You don't _live_ here," Juno corrected loftily. "You _reside _here, which is precisely why _I'm_ here. We need to talk."

"Couldn't this have waited until tomorrow?"

"As a matter of fact it couldn't. According to his file, this is one of the few places in the Neitherworld that he," she gestured towards Betelgeuse with her thumb, "seems to frequent without end."

"He's my best customer," Lady affirmed with a suggestive sense that made Juno gag. "What's it to you?"

"Tell me something: what is your relationship like?" Juno asked, turning to look at her surroundings with a bored sense of interest.

"Excuse me?"

"Is it strictly business, strictly personal, a little of both? What type of terms are you on?"

"I don't-"

"Do you discuss your personal lives?"

"Maybe..."

"Are you in love with him?"

"No," she answered flatly.

"Good. Then that will make this much easier."

"Look: either start making sense _real fast_, or I'm going to wake him up and then we won't have too much to talk about anymore."

"Has he told you about the trial yet?" Juno asked.

"Yeah."

"Then you know how close we are to throwing his ass into the lost souls closet, dusting off our hands and being done with the whole mess."

"I've got an inkling."

"Let's hope that _he_'s got more than an inkling so that he can properly defend himself tomorrow," Juno muttered.

"You make it sound like you intend to crucify him," Lady said with a laugh.

"More or less, if Aryan has his way," Juno said with a shrug of indifferency.

"Aryan?" Ladybug asked quickly, her brow furrowing.

"Yes. You've heard of him? Met him?"

"Heard of him? I mean, I've never met him, but... Well, who _hasn't_ heard of him!" she shook her head, eyes seeming to focus on something else, something past the room. "He's one of the most powerful... One of the most..."

"They say he may be even more powerful than Betelgeuse," Juno said softly, watching as the poltergeist twitched slightly in his sleep, the utterance of his name striking something within him. "The only difference between him and Aryan is that Aryan uses his power for good, not evil."

"Aryan's going to be at the trial?" Lady asked, ignoring the latter statement as she returned to the task of stroking Betelgeuse's hair.

"He's going to oversee it. He'll be on the panel that decides Geuse's fate, not that there's really much left to decide."

"What d'you mean?"

"It's already been discussed. Tomorrow a group of deliborators plan to sentence Geuse to House Arrest: he will be bound to an abandoned house where he will be left alone - for eternity. Eventually he will go mad and his powers will rage out of control. When that happens - and it _will_ happen, it's inevitable - he will be deemed a rogue and then exorcised."

"Hold on. You think _you_ can bind him?"

"Of course not," Juno said bitterly. "That's why-"

"You have Aryan."

"Exactly. At the opening of the trial the overseeing of Geuse's case will be transferred from my care to Aryan's. And then even Geuse will have to undertsand that there will always be someone more powerful than he."

"When was all of this decided?" Lady asked incredulously, with an air that suggested she was grasping at straws, avoiding the inevitable question that she already knew the answer to.

"It's been decided for a long time now. We were simply waiting for him to screw up. And he did. Without fail."

Lady sighed, her gaze dropping to her client. He knew something was coming his way - had known the moment he walked through her door. He had probably discussed a healthy amount of this with Juno during their meeting. For a wanted man facing his last free night, she was flattered that he had thought to spend it with her (not that he had anyone else to sepnd it with).

"What does any of this have to do with me?" Lady finally asked, never taking her eyes off of Betelgeuse's vacant expression.


	3. Case Open

**Author's Note: **I'd like to say a quick thanks for my reviews! Also, I wanted to apologize for the brevity of the last two chapters, and I assure you that the chapters to come have much more substance. Please review on your way out, and now on with the show!

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It was the bright light that woke Beetlejuice the next morning. A brilliant, white light that seemed to pierce through his eyelids. Lifting a hand to block some of the light from his eyes, his lids fluttered open, a soft string of swear words issuing from his mouth.

"You're late," said a deep, smooth voice. Glancing around, Beetlejuice realized that he was no longer in Ladybug's room at the Roach Motel, despite the fact that he was still laying in her bed and she still lay beside him.

They were now in a large courtroom, the bed lying in a median between where the Plaintiff and Defendant's tables might have usually been. The jury box was empty, as were the long rows of observers' chairs. In fact, the only other people in the room aside from Beetlejuice and Ladybug were an assortment of individuals seated at what appeared to be a judge's table. Juno was among them, seated beside a handsome man with sandy blond hair and steely blue eyes who sat at the center of the group.

"You're late," the same voice repeated, and Beetlejuice realized that it belonged to the blond haired man.

"Yeah?" Beetlejuice asked, propping himself up on his elbow and grinning toothily. "Well, I had some business to take care of."

"We can see that," said a woman seated at the far end of the table. Beetlejuice flashed her a suggestive smile that made her scowl in disgust.

"What's up?" Ladybug murmured from the poltergeist's side, rolling over to face him. Still in a state of limbo between sleep and consciousness, she was not yet aware that she was anywhere other than her own room.

"We've been _summoned_ to _court_," Beetlejuice said over his shoulder, snorting as her eyes fluttered open. When his words finally registered and her mind processed the room around her, she shrunk behind Beetlejuice's form, attempting to hide herself from the judgmental eyes of the panel.

"Do something!" Ladybug growled, pulling a sheet up to her chin.

"Alright," Beetlejuice said, his words coupled with a snap of his fingers. In the blink of an eye the bed disappeared from beneath them, and as a result Lady collapsed to the floor still clinging to her sheet. Beetlejuice, however, rose to his feet clothed in his favorite black and white suit, all splits and tears from his recent encounter with Sandworms magically mended. Ladybug cleared her throat from her place at his feet, but he hardly seemed to notice.

"So, what can I do for you ladies and, uh," Beetlejuice's eyes swiveled to focus on the blond male, "well, ladies?"

"Betel-" Ladybug began, but with another snap of Beetlejuice's fingers she was silenced. Just as quickly as the bed had disappeared and the poltergeist's clothes had appeared, Lady found herself clothed as well. Rising to her feet slowly, she took but a moment to glance over the outfit that Beetlejuice had dressed her in: a black camisole, a black and white striped dress jacket with a matching mid-thigh length skirt, black high heels and - to cut off the mentioning of his name - a black ribbon loosely bound around her mouth.

"Would you please have a seat?" the blond male asked, conjuring a table and two chairs before them with a simple nod of his head. Ladybug hesitated for a moment before sitting, while Beetlejuice collapsed into the chair without a second thought.

"Now," began the blond, "we're here in regards to the Maitland incident."

"Which was really all one big misunderstanding," Beetlejuice chuckled as Ladybug removed the ribbon from around her mouth.

"Misunderstanding or not, it must be addressed." He folded his hands together, a concerned expression on his face.

"Well then let's get rollin', 'cause Bugsy and I've got a full day planned, if ya know what I mean." To top off the insult, he winked at the woman who had scoffed before, yielding a cold glare. His eyes returned to the blond. "I'd say you could join us 'cause I know that'd just make your day, but Bugs here has a 'one at a time' policy that I just can't get her to break."

"Oh, enough!" interjected the woman from the end of the table.

"Hey," Beetlejuice said with a shrug and a snort, "them's the rules."

"If I may continue?" the blond suggested, and Beetlejuice waved his arms in a gesture of consent. "We cannot let a haunting like yours provide proof that there is indeed life after death. You used to work in the governmental departments after all. You know how all of this works."

"You know," Beetlejuice began, but paused as he withdrew a cigarette from his pocket and conjured a lighter into his hand out of thin air. He lit the cigarette, taking a long draw from it and exhaling a stream of smoke through his lips before pressing on. "You know, I've never really been a 'rules man,' myself. I've always been a bigger picture sort of guy, you know what I mean? SO! It should come as _no_ surprise to yous guys when I tell you that I don't give a FUCK about whatever kind of governmental parade you're gonna put on for the sake of little ole me here today. It will _not change shit_ about how I handle my business."

"Beej," Ladybug warned from his side, swallowing hard under the eyes of the blond.

"Don't let 'em frighten you, hon," Beetlejuice said in faux consolation, patting her leg gently. "He's only muscle; he don't think much."

"I suppose we should just press on and drop the niceties then?" the blond asked his fellow judges, ignoring the poltergeist's comments.

"Hear, hear!" bellowed a robust man seated next to the woman at the end, and his confirmation was met with much murmuring of agreement from the other judges.

"Very well. Betel-" the blond began, but was cut off when Juno cleared her throat rather loudly. The blond looked to her for a moment, then nodded. "Oh, right, excuse me. What should we address you by? Do you have a preference?"

"Fuck if I care," Beetlejuice said, a thin stream of smoke issuing from his lips once more.

"He responds to 'Geuse' just as well as anything else," Juno said, speaking up for the first time.

"Well, golly, boss!" Beetlejuice exclaimed. "I forgot you were there!"

"Enough!" the woman at the end said once more, and the blond nodded in agreement.

"Yes, I think we've had quite enough of your input," the blond said, his eyes falling to a piece of paper before him. "That is if you are capable of refraining."

"Well I dunno. Why don't you come down here off your pedestal and _make me_?" Beetlejuice said through gritted teeth, for the first time showing an emotion other than disdain. The blonde's eyes lifted to the meet the gaze of the poltergeist.

"We would appreciate it if you would choose to comply at least a little so that this entire process might go along a bit smoother."

There was a moment of silence as Beetlejuice seemed nonplussed by this request, his lips pursed and eyes darting in what appeared to be confusion.

"You _do_ know who you're talking to," he said slowly, "right?"

"He's got a point," Ladybug said in an undertone, a smile tugging at her lips.

"Ladybug, is it?" the blond asked, directing his attention toward her for what seemed to be the first time.

"Yes," she answered, straightening slightly in her seat.

"As you can see, your friend here is causing enough trouble as it is. The panel could do without any comments from you, thank you very much."

Ladybug shrunk back in her chair, casting her eyes downward. Beetlejuice watched her for a moment, resting his elbows on the table and his chin in his hands.

"He's got a point, babes," the poltergeist sighed. "We're here to talk about _me_, not you. You gotta stop trying to steal my spotlight. After all, these kind folks here've got a short attention span: they can't have more than one person talk at once or they get all... antsy."

"May. I. Continue?" the blond asked, his annoyance beginning to show.

"I dunno," Beetlejuice said, rolling his eyes toward the speaker. "Are you done pickin' on the kid here?"

The corner of Ladybug's mouth twitched in spite of herself.

"In regards to the Maitland incident," the blond pressed on, "you are charged with the following: eight counts of Harassment, seven counts of Assault, six counts of Inappropriate Exposure to the Paranormal, two counts of Attempted Exorcism, two counts of Unlawful Business Conduct, one count of Extortion, one count of Misconduct with a Minor, and one count of Contractual Misconduct with the Living. You have been found guilty on all counts."

"Boy," Beetlejuice said as his gaze swung back to Ladybug. "That was one helluva trial, huh?"

"All that remains is the sentencing," the blond concluded, looking to Juno. "Should you do the honors, or should I?"

"I'll give you the satisfaction," Juno said with a sour smile.

"Very well," and the blonde's gaze turned to Beetlejuice once more. "In considering the sentencing of a criminal like yourself, the Council reviewed not only the Maitland accident, but past accidents as well, such as those involving the Carmichaels, the Burtons, the Douglass family, the Gibsons, the Paradis family, and the Fairchild girl. We have revisited over 190 criminal counts in an attempt to assess how dangerous a spirit like yourself truly is. And we have found that due to the overwhelming amount of power that you possess your antics have been allowed to run unchecked for decades. Centuries, even."

"I've said it before and I'll say it again." Beetlejuice paused to straighten the lapels of his suit in a self-important gesture. "I'm the 'Ghost with the Most.'"

"That has yet to be seen," the blond countered, to which the poltergeist responded with a lewd hand gesture. "Given your record of recklessness and proven disregard for life we have, without apprehension, sought the most severe punishment at our disposal: this Council wishes to conduct an Exorcism."

"I'd bet _you_'d like that, wouldn't you, Aryan?" Beetlejuice said as the blonde's eyes met his. Though the corners of his mouth twitched ever so slightly upward at the mentioning of his name, Aryan continued.

"Unfortunately, Exorcism is a sentence reserved only for the most violent offenders, and can be applied only to the case of a spirit deemed Rogue, or a spirit who is unable to control his or her powers. The same is said for passing a sentence of exile to Saturn. And though your long, outstanding criminal history does include possession, murder, and attempted exorcism, there is still no evidence that you have become Rogue.

"Therefore it is the decision of this Council that, in order to ensure the safety of both the Otherworld and the Neitherworld, you are hereby sentenced to an eternity of solitary confinement, from both the living _and_ the dead, under House Arrest."


	4. Case Shut

Betelgeuse erupted in a cackle of laughter that reverberated off the walls of the courtroom. The other judges frowned, as though this had not been the reaction that they were expecting. Aryan and Juno, however, remained straight faced.

"That's your big plan?" Betelgeuse said through his laughter. "Dump me off all by my lonesome?"

"Yes, that is your sentence," Aryan answered smoothly.

"Boy the suspense was killin' me. I was expecting somethin' a little more threatening, let me tell ya!" He rubbed his unshaven chin for a moment, thinking. "Say, who's gonna try to do it? Who thinks they got the juice to take me on?"

"I will be the one to bind you," Aryan said.

"What did I tell ya?" Betelgeuse asked, looking to Ladybug. "He don't think much; he's all muscle."

"I'd like to make an objection and alteration to the sentencing, since we are all gathered," Juno interjected.

"You have the floor," Aryan affirmed without so much as a glance in the caseworker's direction.

"'Bout time you spoke up, boss," Betelgeuse murmured as he lit another cigarette. "You're starting to blend in with the scenery."

"In an attempt to protect the inhabitants of the Otherworld and the Neitherworld we have chosen a sentence of House Arrest. Given this sentence Geuse will be bound to a residence in the Otherworld where he will stay for eternity. He will not be permitted to leave the premises and will not be permitted any visitors."

"What exactly are you getting at?" Aryan asked, his gaze finally turning in her direction, a suspicious look in his eyes.

"Yeah?" Betelgeuse drawled, taking every opportunity he could to mock Aryan.

"It seems to me that this kind of punishment will only protect the Neitherworld from Geuse's tirades, not the Otherworld. Anyone who happens to wander onto the premises will be subject to Geuse's mercy. And I believe we are all aware that his mercy is in short supply. Isolation for centuries will take its toll; there's a possibility that Geuse will go rogue."

"And if he does we will Exorcise him."

"But we may be too late. What if we have only seen a degree of his strength? If the full force of his powers were to reign unchecked, they might break through any bindings we put on him. He could destroy hundreds - possibly thousands of lives before we could Exorcise him."

"I believe that is a risk this Council is willing to take," Aryan countered, his words met with murmurs of agreement from the other judges.

"Oh yes, yes. Quite right," Betelgeuse said in a pompous tone, assuming a self-important pose and nodding definitively at Ladybug. The corners of his mouth twitched as she attempted to smother giggles with her hand.

"A risk that we can avoid," Juno pressed on. "Word of a haunted house always attracts the living. One outburst would be enough to bring them in. First it would be teenagers, then possibly adults looking to exploit a supernatural attraction. We would be leading them to the slaughter if we left Geuse unsupervised."

"Unsupervised?" Aryan questioned, a sense of realization seeming to dawn on him.

"I propose that we bind another spirit to the house. A spirit who might be able to exercise a certain degree of control over Geuse."

"Wouldn't that defeat the purpose of isolation?" Aryan asked, a smile on his lips contradicting the malicious look in his eyes.

"Not at all. Someone who can hold their own against Geuse won't be fun for him. And should he go rogue, we'll have instant notification." Juno paused, staring Aryan down. "Think of it as a failsafe to your plan."

Aryan seemed to consider this for a moment, his gaze shifting back to Betelgeuse as he turned the thought over in his mind. All the while Betelgeuse could do nothing but smile up at him in a self-satisfied way.

"Who did you have in mind?" Aryan asked, his stare never wavering.

"Are you really that clueless?" Betelgeuse asked, sinking his face into the palm of his hand.

"Ladybug," Juno answered.

"Absolutely not," Aryan growled, his glare rounding on Juno and a sudden agitation in his voice. "They have known each other for over _six hundred years_; if you give into this you're giving him what he wants! The whore is out of the question."

"Hey!" Ladybug exclaimed. "Who're you calling a whore?"

"She's an _escort_," Betelgeuse said matter-of-factly.

"It's irrelevant," Aryan said dismissively.

"It is _not_!" Lady fought.

"Watch your tone," Aryan said as his eyes turned on Ladybug.

"Fuck you!" she countered.

"Now, now," Betelgeuse interjected, extending an arm across Ladybug as if to suggest she might try to attack Aryan. "No need to get all feisty. We all know how Aryan gets when things don't go 'according to plan.' He likes to throw little temper tantrums and take his inferiority out on poor passersby."

"You had better restrain your pet, Geuse," Aryan warned. "Otherwise I'll have to hold her in contempt."

"And then what? Frame her as a Rogue so you can give her a little Exorcise? Maybe let her take a little vacation in the Lost Souls room? Or did you want to save all of your juice for the big showdown?"

"I'm _warning_ you, Geuse-"

"And I'm warning _you_, you little shit," Betelgeuse growled, his voice dropping so low that it would be a wonder if anyone but Ladybug could hear him. "I'll be _damned_ before you ever lay a hand on either of us."

For a moment no one spoke, a thick silence settling over the room that seemed to forbid noise of any kind. Ladybug had lost all interest in her own insult, her attention now devoted to the utter loathing in Betelgeuse's eyes. While the members of the Council appeared to not have heard the poltergeist's words, Aryan's glittering eyes met Betelgeuse's gaze and the thinnest smile drew across his face.

"I'd say you already are damned, Betelgeuse," Aryan said loftily as though the entire topic of conversation had become rather boring. He ignored Betelgeuse's annoyance at the mention of his name and pressed on. "Were there a Hell I am sure this Council would have banished you to its deepest circle. And if you really wanted your pet to keep you company, I'm sure we would not hesitate to send her there with you."

Once again silence fell. Though it was impossible for the Council members to ignore the rising argument, they seemed to be doing a fairly convincing job of it. Meanwhile Aryan had eyes for no one, Betelgeuse had eyes for Aryan, and Ladybug had eyes for Betelgeuse.

"I would like to propose," Juno spoke up, "that we take a vote on whether or not we bind Ladybug to the house with Geuse."

"Fine," Aryan replied stiffly. "A vote then."

"Keeping in mind the arguments that have been made both against and for the motion, all those in favor say 'aye.'"

There was a minute of hesitation in which several of the Council members exchanged glances. But after a moment, the woman at the end who Betelgeuse had given so much grief nodded slowly.

"Aye," the woman said, and beside her the robust man murmured, "Aye."

Over several moments came two more mumbled 'ayes,' each vote accompanied by an air of pulling teeth. When it seemed that no other Councilmember would approve, Juno nodded.

"Aye," the caseworker said with a sigh, marking the number of votes on her paper. "Now, all those against?"

"Nay," Aryan said through gritted teeth, his vote swiftly affirmed by three others. However, it was evident that the damage was done.

"That's five 'ayes' and four 'nays,'" Juno explained, "and therefore the ayes have it. Ladybug will be bound to the house with Geuse as a precautionary measure."

"Are there any other amendments you might like to make to the sentence, Juno?" Aryan asked. "Keep in mind that any more revisions like that and the sentence may no longer be a punishment."

"No, I think the sentence is just as is," Juno sighed. "We will enforce the sentence immediately following the adjournment of the trial. Are there any other items of business?"

"No," Aryan answered flatly.

"Very well. Any last comments from the Defendant?"

"Thanks for the consolation prize?" Betelgeuse suggested, leaning back and wrapping his arm around Ladybug's shoulders.

"This court is adjourned," Aryan said and, with a snap of his fingers, Betelgeuse and Ladybug disappeared.

"I thought we agreed that you would keep your temper under control," Juno said under her breath, her gaze turning to Aryan. "You said that you would leave your history with Geuse out of the picture."

"I thought I did pretty well, considering," Aryan sighed, collecting a few papers and tapping them into a neat stack. "But then again, if you're allowed to bring your own history into the mix, why can't I?"

"If you think about it, Aryan, it really _is_ a safety precaution. But whatever history I might have had with him is over. He's under your care now, you're his caseworker. I'm through with him."

"And I'm just getting warmed up."


	5. House Warming

**Author's Note:** Well, I'm not nearly as satisfied with this chapter as I have been with the last few. However, every little bit is necessary! Anyway, have a nice long read and don't forget to drop a comment on your way home! Oh, and by the way, I make a little reference to the state of Maine in this chapter. Make a guess in your review as to why I'm connecting Maine to the paranormal/supernatural; anyone who gets the right answer has my undying respect!

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When Ladybug finally came to a halt, she found that her landing was more of a crash. For a moment she wondered if her graceless stop was a result of the force of Aryan's power, but upon seeing Beetlejuice having landed smoothly on his feet with his hands in his pockets she swore under her breath. Once again, she was at a disadvantage due to her own lack of power.

"That was fun," Beetlejuice sighed, glancing around them with a bored expression. Ladybug slowly climbed to her feet, looking around as well.

"Maybe for you," she snorted, wrinkling her nose at the dilapidated room around her. It was clearly the entry way of a house, but the wood paneling of the walls and floors appeared to be corroding and there seemed to be an air of decay about the place. "Where the hell are we, anyway?"

"The house that they're binding me to, I guess." He paused, looking Ladybug up and down with a teasing sneer. "Well, binding _us_ to."

"Oh," was all she said, quickly averting her eyes.

"I'm assuming you knew all about this binding business _before_ the trial today?" Beetlejuice asked, approaching her. However, she turned away, acting as though she hadn't heard him and instead took interest in exploring the house. From the entry way she found herself in a narrow hallway that branched off to several other rooms, with a rickety staircase at the end.

"I wonder if there's a functioning kitchen in here," Lady mused aloud, trying to pretend she had not heard him.

"Ladybug," he said in a songlike voice, as though to call her back to the conversation. "How did you find out about the binding?"

"Who says I knew anything about it?" she asked, poking her head into the bottom floor rooms, each a deteriorating source of blanketed old furniture, rotting wood, skittering insects and thick layers of dust. She found a stripped down kitchen, a study, and a parlor.

"The boss didn't even ask for your permission," Beetlejuice said, following at her heels. "That's a technicality; she _had_ to have your permission."

"So?" she countered, walking carefully up the staircase, afraid that the steps may collapse at any moment.

"So that means she already had it! I know she talked to you. I just want to know when."

Once again Ladybug attempted to ignore him, walking down a second hallway and entering one of the many bedrooms along the way. She became excited when she saw curtains drawn tightly against a window, and started forward to pull them back, longing to see what lay outside. However, she was sorely disappointed when she found the window to be boarded up tightly.

Suddenly Beetlejuice was on her, turning her to face him and backing her into the wall. His hands fixed tightly around her arms, his dark eyes boring into her. For a moment she averted his stare, looking down toward his shoes. But she could feel the intensity of his eyes and, with a sigh, she lifted her gaze to meet his.

"Bugs, I know she talked to you," he said, so close that she could feel his hot breath on her face. "Now, when'd she do it?"

"What does it matter?" she asked, her face expressionless. "She told me about the trial, told me that you were going to be bound, and told me that it would be better if you had some company."

"Why?" he questioned. "Why would it be better?"

"For the same reason that she said at the trial, I guess. Or maybe it's like you've always said: she's got a soft spot for you, and maybe this is her last favor. I don't think she wants to see you Exorcised, Beej. Come to think of it I can't think of anyone I'd wish that on..."

"Yeah? Well I wish I could say the same for everyone else in the Neitherworld," Beetlejuice sighed. He turned away from Ladybug and collapsed onto the bed, a cloud of dust rising from the furniture covering.

"Aryan, huh?" Lady asked, sitting down beside him. "God, that guy... What an asshole."

"Well, what did you expect? He's got an ego the size of Maine, and it can't help that he's the second most powerful ghost kickin' around the Neitherworld."

"So you think you're stronger than him?"

"Hon, I _know_ I'm stronger than him." Beetlejuice ran his hands over his hair agitatedly. "You know, before the trial I was still on the fence. But now I _know_ I'm stronger than him."

"Is that what all of that was?" Lady asked with a laugh. "All the summoning and conjuring? Some kind of pissing contest?"

"That was all for show." He paused for a moment. "Like when birds compete for a mate and show off their feathers and shit."

"So now you're a couple of peacocks."

"Something like that," he said with a smile. "_That_ was all show. It was what he said... There was blood in his eyes. He wanted me Exorcised so bad he could taste it." His eyes swiveled to Ladybug. "Didn't you think it was kinda funny that he got so worked up over whether or not you'd get bound here with me?"

"I didn't really think about it too much."

"He wanted me off all by myself. He wanted me to go crazy from the isolation so that he could claim I was rogue and put me on an Exorcise program."

"And why would he want you Exorcised? So that he could be top peacock?"

"No," Beetlejuice said nonchalantly. "If he can Exorcise me he can steal my juice."

"Your juice?" Ladybug mused aloud, finally realizing what he was saying.

"Yeah. He wants my power and me out of the way."

"See, I don't understand that."

"What?"

"The vie for power. I mean, what the hell would he want with all that power?"

"The same thing that I'd want with it."

"He wants to get out?"

"More or less."

"But you said you can't get out on power alone."

"What the hell do I know?" the poltergeist sighed, lifting his hands as though to indicate the room around them. "I've been bound to a rundown old shack by a two-bit Juicer. You oughtta know by now that I ain't perfect."

"Well, you're getting a free hooker on Juno's bill so you must be doing something right."

Lady's words were followed by a moment of silence, followed by the ghosts' eyes meeting and smiles drawing across their faces.

"You know, this is my first time topside in six hundred years. I don't even remember what it was like the first time around." Ladybug paused for a moment, glancing around the room. "Please tell me it isn't all like this."

"Nah, it ain't all this bad," Beetlejuice chuckled, walking to the boarded up window and examining the rotting wood that barred them from the outside world. "But I bet we won't be getting any farther than the front door unless we want a walk on Saturn."

"Saturn?" Lady asked with a sense of excitement that drew the poltergeist's stare.

"We _don't_ want to go to Saturn," he clarified, his eyebrows arching. "There're _sandworms_ on Saturn."

"I don't remember anything about Saturn..."

"Lucky you," Beetlejuice mused aloud, tugging lightly on one of the boards. He stood in silence for a moment, then nodded slowly. "Bugs, lemme be straight with you. We've known each other for a while, yeah?"

"Well," Ladybug said after a minute of faux concentration, "yeah, I guess I'd consider six centuries 'a while.'"

"Yeah, and we know each other pretty well, right?"

"Sort of..."

"Look, this whole isolation thing was Aryan's big plan. And with you here this fucks him up royally, which I'm all for. And he's pissed. Hell, if I were him, _I'd_ be pissed. And so he's gonna try to get me. Any guesses how?"

"Is this a multiple choice question?"

"He's gonna try to get at me through you." Beetlejuice turned to face her, shaking his head. "Juno made the deal with you for my 'own good.' Whatever. I get it. But this guy isn't Juno. He's an ass, and he'll do whatever it takes to get what he wants."

"Why are you so sure he's out to get you?"

"Because he's been out to get me for about as long as I can remember. And he's tried about every low blow I can think of."

"And why hasn't he come after me yet?"

"Well, there're a dozen different... _escorts_... at that Roach Motel you work out of. I think they only just realized that I was visiting the same one every time. By then they'd already cooked up this whole house arrest thing." He shook his head once more. "The main point is that he'll do whatever it takes to get you to turn on me by helping him."

"There isn't a thing that Aryan can say that would make me turn on you, Beej."

"Look, all I want you to do is gimme your word that you won't give Aryan any help. If you get tired of this, if you want out, then just tell Juno. You won't 'hurt my feelings,'" he added with a roll of his eyes. "But whatever you do, _don't_ help Aryan, alright?"

"A scumbag like that?" Ladybug scoffed. "Even _you_ couldn't make me help him."

For a moment the poltergeist simply stared at her, one eyebrow raised in a suspicious look. But rather than feed his suspicions with more questions, Ladybug simply smiled.

"C'mon, Beej, everything will be fine." She rose to stand in front of him, lifting her hands to gently tug on his tie. "Let's go explore the house, huh? I wanna see if there's running water!"

"You are so easily amused," Beetlejuice said with a sigh, letting her lead him out of the room by his tie. As they came to stop in the doorway of a bathroom, he looked to Ladybug expectantly. "You know what this means don't you?"

"What?" she asked, crossing to a sink excitedly.

"We've gotta christen every room."

She gave him a confused look at first, but when she saw his seductive expression she couldn't help but smile.

"Of course."


	6. Company

**Author's Note:** In a quick note I would like to respond to Chapter Five's reviewer (I'm always saddened by the fact that I can't reply to anonymous reviews). In the Movie Verse, Betelgeuse is a very rude and obscene individual (his Cartoon Verse counterpart being a very toned-down version). I've always thought that if anyone could sympathize with Betelgeuse, it would be a hooker (and what's more, if he could have anyone on his side, he would _want_ a hooker). But at the same time he wouldn't put up with just anyone for a great amount of time, would he? It would have to be someone who was a bit unrefined like himself, someone who could hold their own against him. This is how I try to portray Ladybug. However, it's very early yet, and Bugs is an individual with many layers (much like Betelgeuse). Hopefully this story won't die before those many layers can be seen. Also, you _truly_ don't want me to try to make this into an M story. Any attempt I might make would be laughable at best, and I really don't want to embarras myself so early in the game. Maybe later...?

_Please_ review! I love hearing comments, criticisms, what have you! I hate to beg, but I'm a sucker for feedback. Even if you hate the story just let me know. And now that I've rambled enough, let's get on with the show!

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It was in the bathtub of the lower floor bathroom that the ghostly pair had spent the previous night. Ladybug lie in the basin with her feet dangling over the edge and Betelgeuse resting beside her in a similar position, though facing the opposite direction. There was no telling how much time had passed since Betelgeuse's sentence had been handed down, but it was safe to say that during that time the two had 'christened every room' several times over.

"Where's my tie?" Betelgeuse grumbled curiously as he lit a cigarette. His eyes raked over Ladybug, who was clothed in nothing but the black and white striped jacket from his suit.

"No idea," she sighed as he passed her his cigarette. "I think we lost it..."

"Figures. It's probably still tied to one of the bedposts."

Lady blew a ring of smoke in the air, leaning her head against the poltergeist's foot. She watched as the smoke swirled and twisted in the air, dissolving and fading away into nothingness. The vision stirred something in her mind, though she did not think about it long as Betelgeuse's words pulled her from her thoughts.

"They'll probably check up on us today," he murmured, drumming his fingers along the side of the tub.

"D'you think Aryan will-"

"I doubt it. He strikes me as the kinda guy who would send someone else to do his dirty work."

"I still don't understand why they're checking up on us anyway," Ladybug grumbled, sinking down a bit farther into the tub.

"It's a formality, just like everything else. And Aryan has to do everything by the book this time. Otherwise someone might raise an objection at my Exorcism hearing."

"Well if it is Aryan then he's gonna get an earful from me, because I'm gonna tell him how pissed off I am that he dropped us in this shit hole of a house." Lady curled up to Betelgeuse's leg, like a child clinging to a treasured toy. "They didn't give us any of our clothes, we didn't even get a copy of the _Handbook_! There's no running water, no electricity-!"

"As though you had that back at your Roach Motel," Betelgeuse snorted.

"If they're gonna dump is in the Otherworld, the least they could do is dump us in a house that works! You know, you and I lived six-hundred years ago when things like electricity and running water didn't even exist! And I've had to hear about this stuff for decades. I mean I've _dreamed_ about this shit! And now that we're stranded in the Land of the Living we can't even see what it's like to wash our hands."

"You make it sound like you remember what it's like to be alive," Betelgeuse said with a laugh.

"You shouldn't pick on me just because I can't remember," Lady said bitterly, her eyes narrowing. "I didn't know that just because I killed myself I wouldn't be able to remember living..."

"Aww, c'mon, babes!" The poltergeist smiled, leaning towards her. "Y'know I didn't mean it like that. Besides, I'm just teasin' yuh. You're in the Otherworld and by extension you oughtta have all the amenities the Living do. I'm in total agreement! I honestly wouldn't mind a change of clothes... Hell, I might even shave if I had the chance."

"It isn't like you remember what it was like to be alive either," she murmured, hardly listening to what he was saying. "You just want to get out because you can't. You remember about as much as I do."

"That's where you're wrong," Betelgeuse sighed as he settled back into the tub. "I remember what living _felt_ like, and it felt great. I bet you don't even remember what it was like to smell and taste, do you?"

"You know I don't."

"Well _I_ do."

And then there was silence. Ladybug stared at him as he seemed to withdraw within his thoughts, wishing that she could be inside his mind, wishing that she could feel what he was remembering. It was true that she had committed suicide and it was true that those who killed themselves could not remember their lives. In death she - like many others - could not taste or smell, could only feel varying degrees of cold and could not remember exactly what warmth was. In life she could only assume that she had experienced these things because in death she had no idea what they were.

"What was it like?" Lady asked quietly.

"What?"

"Being able to feel."

"What, like warmth?" he asked as their eyes met, and she nodded. For a moment he was silent, trying to remember and to determine how you would define something to someone who could not possibly understand it. "It's like... it's like a cold so bitter that you don't feel cold anymore. Like a stinging on your skin, a prickly kinda feeling, that... that..." He paused again, his eyes searching the blank expression on her face.

"You don't know what I'm talking about, do you?" he asked, and she shook her head slowly. He sighed, smiling at her, his next few words a lie that even _he_ could hardly voice: "Don't worry, you're not missing much."

"You're a liar."

"And you'd better get dressed," Betelgeuse said as he rose from the tub. "'Cause we've got company."

"What?" she asked, the distraction getting the best of her.

"I can feel them coming."

"'Them?'"

"Yep." He began to dress, pulling on what few bits of clothing lie scattered on the bathroom floor. As he buttoned his shirt he glanced up at her, smirking at her motionlessness and lack of concern. "You know... I think I'm gonna make myself scarce."

"They're gonna want to see you," she said, crossing her ankles over the tub's edge.

"Well, they're just gonna have to settle for you."

"Whaddyou want me to tell them?"

"Oh, I dunno. Tell 'em how pissed you are about the electricity, the clothing, blah, blah, blah." He stuffed one hand into his pocket and lifted the other as though to snap his fingers. "Oh, almost forgot. Tell 'em we want a _Handbook_."

"Why?" she asked, an eyebrow arching.

"No reason. Bit of light reading."

"You can read?" Lady asked with a smirk.

"Ha-ha-ha," he said with a roll of his eyes, snapping his fingers and disappearing.

Ladybug sighed heavily, rising to her feet. She slipped into the bare minimum amount of clothing required for visitors (which included nothing but a bra and underwear), buttoned the striped jacket around her, and slowly exited the bathroom. She walked along the hall, glancing in on each bedroom that she came to. Finally she stumbled across the room she had been searching for. She advanced toward the bed, slipping the tie from around the bedpost. She gazed at it for a moment, then smiled, pulling her hair back into a pony tail and using the tie like a ribbon to fasten her hair in place.

"Very nice," said a cold voice from behind her. "It frames your face well."

Lady turned, her eyes falling upon the blond figure leaning leisurely against the door frame. Aryan wore the same dark suit that he had been dressed in at Betelgeuse's trial, his blond hair combed back behind his ears. She had not yet noticed before how few characteristics of death he possessed, but standing only a few feet away it was impossible not to notice. There were no visible signs of molding, his hair was a very natural color, his teeth seemed perfect and without decay and his cause of death was not visible either. Aside from an incredibly pallid complexion and an almost unearthly way of moving, she would not have believed that he was one of the most powerful spirits in the entire Neitherworld.

"Are you alone?" she asked, taking a seat on the visibly used bed. Aryan glanced over his shoulder, then looked back and nodded.

"Yes. Where is he?"

"Making himself 'scarce.'" She stretched out, leaning against the headboard. "So why are you here?"

"A formality. The caseworker of a Home Bound ghost must check in on said ghost every year. Do you have any idea how long you've been here so far?"

"Not really. We sort of lost track of time. We got busy doing..." she paused, rubbing the sheets between her fingers, "other things..."

"Well then, you've been 'busy' for exactly two months."

"You don't say?"

"Mm-hmm." He slid his hands into his pockets, straightening slightly. "Tell me, how are you adjusting to the Land of the Living?"

"Not really much to adjust to, is there?" she asked bitterly.

"What did you expect? Four star accommodations?"

"I expected a house that someone might have lived in within the last century."

"I don't think you understand the meaning of the word 'punishment.'"

"Maybe I don't think he deserves to be punished."

"Maybe so. But I don't think he deserves to Live, and I personally am tired of him trying. He has enormous potential and he wastes it on parlor tricks."

"Would you rather he wasted it sucking up to Juno?"

"Oh please," he scoffed. "You think Juno is my superior?"

"Maybe not." She glanced up at him, their eyes meeting. "But I'm pretty sure that Beej could make you his bitch any day."

"It must be nice to be him," Aryan sneered. "To have a caseworker who coddles him, a government who finds his illegal actions to be lovable antics, and to have a whore for a cheerleader and confidante. Must be nice..."

"I'm _not_ a whore," she murmured. "I'm an _escort_."

"Oh, so you only offer sexual favors to your favorite customers?" he asked nonchalantly. "Or is it just the ones that you've fallen in love with?"

Lady snorted, her eyes rolling. "You're gonna have to try harder than that to get under my skin."

At first Aryan chuckled, simply shaking his head and smiling. But then he glanced over his shoulder once more before meeting Ladybug's gaze.

"So, where is he?"

"I told you: I don't know. He disappeared when he sensed you were on your way."

"Do you know where he disappeared to?"

"No. But it's not like he can go that far."

"Since it's clear that he's too full of shit to show himself-"

"Watch it."

"Or what? You'll use your less than functional powers to teach me a lesson?" Aryan smiled, and Ladybug simply bit her lip, fixing Aryan in a cold glare.

"As I was saying if he's not going to show himself then I suppose I'm just going to have to cover the basics with you." Aryan folded his arms. "Have you faced any problems with the Living since your banishment?"

"No," she sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Have you had any encounters with the Living at all?"

"No."

"Have you personally faced any problems with the prisoner?"

"Well, sometimes he gets a little kinky for my tastes, but what can I say? He knows how to treat a lady..."

"Oh, I'm sure he does."

"Maybe he'd give you a taste if you begged enough," she said as she took an interest in the condition of her fingernails. "Like I said, I'm sure he could make you his bitch."

"Do you have any comments, questions, or concerns before I leave? Keep in mind that this will be your only chance as I will not return for one year. Granted, in the Neitherworld that may not seem like a long time, but here... it can seem like an eternity."

"Yeah, now that you mention it. We've got a few requests."

"Oh, I'd love to hear this."

"First, we'd like our clothing. Beej can't summon it here due to your power over the house."

"It isn't as though you'll be entertaining company."

"Secondly, we'd like you to power up the electricity and the water works."

"Why don't you ask your precious poltergeist to do it for you?"

"And finally, we'd like a copy of _The Handbook for the Recently Deceased_."

"Why?" he asked, for the first time showing genuine curiosity.

"First of all, as occupants of the Otherworld we're required to have a _Handbook_. But mostly there isn't anything to do in this house other than sleep and fuck and frankly I'd like to at least have another option open. Makes playing hard to get a bit more convincing."

Aryan at first said nothing, his eyes unfocused as though he was giving an intense amount of thought to the entire situation. After a moment or two he nodded slowly, his gaze meeting Ladybug's once more.

"Very well. You can have your clothing, due to the fact that your landlords are trying to rent out your living quarters and we weren't quite sure what to do with your things. You can have a copy of the _Handbook_ because it is, as you said, a requirement. And thirdly, we'll allot enough electricity for basic functions as well as a small amount of hot and cold water to the house. Keep in mind that the third is a privilege and should you cause _any_ problems whatsoever we will do away with it. Do I make myself clear?"

"Perfectly."

"Good. You'll have everything you've requested in twenty-four hours. Oh, and just out of curiosity, in the middle of your busy schedule, do you and the prisoner ever find time to talk about your past?"

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Lady asked, maintaining her indifference.

"I'm only curious as to whether or not you reminisce about your existence together."

"You know," she said with a roll of her eyes, "I feel like you're hinting at something, but I just can't quite put my finger on it."

"Well if you happen to get curious, just ask Betelgeuse. He'll tell you all about it."

And with that he blinked a bit harder than usual, the gesture exerting the power it would take for him to disappear, leaving Ladybug alone.


End file.
